How many different hats (roles) do you wear in your relationship?
On this Valentine’s day, on the way to drop my daughter off at school this morning, I was hit with the realization of just how many roles we play in our relationships.
In our relationships we are lovers, best friends, business partners, parents (to our children not each other lol), therapists, life coaches, financial advisors and those are just a few we wear with our significant other. That doesn’t even delve into the hats we wear as parents to our children.
Whew !!! That’s a lot of responsibilities and hats. No wonder so many couples have disagreements and arguments.
So … how do you keep all your roles separate so you can keep your relationship in tact?
With Mark and I being lovers, best friends, business partners, and trying to blend our families together you can only imagine some of the issues we’ve had. And trust me when I say we’ve had ours.
*Here’s what we’ve found has worked for us*
– We announce what hat we’re going to put on at that moment. (ie: I’m going to be your friend right now not your fiancé, or I’m going to be your business partner right now not your friend.)
– We laid out the parameters of our business partnership and the roles we each play early on. Then we set up specific times we are to discuss our business.
The friendship hat can be trickier. We want to have our significant others back no matter what (and we should) BUT the friendship hat requires tact and, sometimes, some hard truths (in private, of course) which can be difficult at times. None of us need a yes friend who agrees with everything we say and do. We need a friend who’s going to call us out on our bull crap. That can be tough to take from our significant other but as a friend it has to be that way.
But it can also be really fun because you get to have a sleepover with your best friend for the rest of your life.
Blending our families is a much more delicate matter. We discus all rules and expectations with each other before submitting them to the kids that way WE can decide what’s best for everybody.
So, how many hats do you war in your relationship? How do you handle each one? Let us know because we want to hear from you guys !!!