Relationships can be challenging. Love’s not all long stem roses and candle-lit dinners. It’s two completely different people trying to blend together to become one. Differences that can and most likely will clash at some point. You’ve had different upbringings, more than likely there are different beliefs in all sorts of things, and you both probably have different ideas of how certain things should be done.
I don’t believe that love is fate or something we have no control over. I believe love is a choice. It’s a choice we make every single day. It’s a choice we control. We decide whether to stay and be committed to someone through the good times and the hard times or to leave.
Now, with that being said, I also believe that sometimes the choices made by others dictate what choices we have available to choose from. We can’t control the choices someone else is going to or has made. We can only control the choices we make.
So, even when you are angry, hurt, or frustrated, it is the choices you make during those times that determine how the relationship is going to go. If you choose to speak harshly and unkind when you are upset, if you commit unkind acts, if you use the hurt as an excuse to break promises made, then the relationship will not last.
We cannot be harsh, unkind, or break promises and then blame those choices on our significant other. It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t matter what they did (unless there is abuse in the relationship and that is a completely different story). You made that choice. If you made a bad choice you have to take ownership of that choice and not blame anyone else but yourself.
If any relationship is going to work, we have to learn to come together and hear each other with love and open hearts and not with our ego and pride.
It goes against everything we know as humans to be able to set aside our ego, pride, and hurt to hear (and I mean really hear) what the person who hurt us has to say, but it’s something that has to be done if you’re wanting the relationship to heal and continue.
I will say this, though, it cannot be only one person who is doing this. If only one person is continuously trying and the other isn’t, then the relationship will not work. Period. Relationships take two people. They are not 50/50. Relationships are 100/100.
For more tips go to http://couplesquarrel.com/2018/01/29/5-steps-to-begin-effective-communication-for-a-trusting-relationship and let me know what you think.